Because the vast majority of sexual assaults involve women who have been assaulted by men, the associated support groups tend to be comprised of women who have been assaulted by men. These groups also tend to be considered as woman-only safespaces where people who do not "qualify" are asked to leave. I get where this is coming from, but there are some serious problems with this attitude and it needs to stop.
Men Get Raped Too
Men who have been sexually assaulted need support as well. They are often excluded from support groups with the excuse that the presence of a man will make the women uncomfortable. We, as women, need to get over this. A man who has been sexually assaulted by a man is in the same boat as everyone else in the room and needs a safe place just as much. On the other hand, a man who has been sexually assaulted by a woman and finds the courage to address that with a room full of women deserves to have their experience and courage respected. The same awareness of male socialization that makes women view men as people who cannot be trusted adds a big, awful bag of blech to what must be dealt with by a man who is the victim of a sexual assault. They need help too, and we need to stop turning them away.
Trans People Can't Get Support At All
A trans woman may be turned away from support groups because she is not a "real" woman. A trans man may be turned away from support groups because he identifies as a man. Unless he is allowed to stay because he is considered to not be a man due to the configuration of his genitals, requiring him to choose between support for his assault and maintaining his own gender. Either way, the trans person who has been sexually assaulted now also has to undergo a discussion of their genitals by a group of strangers and endure a judgement about their own gender identity before this group of people will offer what can now only be considered pretty badly damaged support. Imagine how a cis woman would feel if her attempt to join a sexual assault support group was greeted by questions about her genitals and a requirement to prove her womanhood.
The Strawperson
One of the common objections offered is that cis men and trans women (who, according to the argument, are "really" men) will pretend to have been sexually assaulted in order to gain access and victimize the women in the group. This argument is of the same family as the equally unsupported "all trans women are actually male predators" that results in the bathroom panic that makes it so dangerous for trans people to use public restrooms. Cis women commit sexual assault too, but a cis woman is only barred from a sexual assault support group if she does something inappropriate. To assume that it is more likely that a man or a trans person seeking a sexual assault support group is a predator is cut from the same cloth as assuming that a cis woman who claims to have been raped is lying. It's unsubstantiated, based on false perceptions, and damaging to the people who need the support such groups exist to provide. This is not helped by the plethora of TV shows that seem unable to depict a support group meeting without it being scenery for somebody who is there under false pretenses.
All Kinds of People Experience Sexual Assault
When joining a sexual assault support group, a person of color and a racist may be in the same group. A gay person and a homophobe may be in the same group. A conservative and a liberal. A Muslim and a Jew and a Catholic. People with a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, ages, levels of education, belief systems, etc. all come together in the room because they have one thing in common: they have experienced a sexual assault. They are expected to set their differences aside and focus on their shared experience. Gender needs to stop being an exception to this. We need to stop denying people support because of their gender, and we need to stop denying cis women the more well-rounded support that other perspectives can supply.
