Thanks, but no thanks.

I saw yet another TV show last night where a man looked earnestly into a woman's eyes, told her that he'd wanted her from the moment he saw her, and she melted.

I just don't get it. If somebody wants me the moment they see me, then they don't want me. They want my hair, or my ass, or my breasts, or the way I echo something that's already in their head. This is not something for which I melt.

I want somebody who has wanted me since they read my source code, or heard me speak about good design principles, or saw my thoughts on women's issues, or found out that I think it's really important to be kind to the people around you. Something besides a visual impression reacting with their own preconceptions.

Maybe I'm just getting old, but, "You have beautiful eyes," doesn't even catch my interest, let alone make me swoon. I'm much more likely to roll my "beautiful" eyes and get on with what I was doing. Because I'm doing things. Things that do not involve sitting around waiting for some random guy to decide he might be willing to hit that. Or even to have coffee with that.

I run a business. I write code. I participate in my community. I garden. I cook for pleasure. I play World of Tanks. I read. I do things with my family. It takes a lot more than a vague compliment about my looks to get my attention these days. Especially since I don't consider the fact that said random guy thinks that his opinion on my looks will be important to me to be a compliment in the first place.

I'm complicated. I'm sophisticated. I'm engaged in many activities and interests. I'm multi-dimensional. I'm variable. I'm articulate. I'm interesting. Yes, I'm also pretty by some standards, but if that's why someone is interested in me, then I'm not interested in them.

I've reached a stage in my life where I require someone who wants to be with me to engage with me as a whole person. Anything less is just a waste of my time and energy, and those are precious commodities.

So, no, I'm not a bitch because I don't consider Random Person thinking I'm hot to be a high-priority event that deserves my attention. It's just not very important to me compared to the other things in my life, like the people who have actually gotten to know me. Sorry.